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In Which I Say What Bears Repeating

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There are hundreds, if not thousands of blog posts about the end of the day as a mommy.

They come from women in all walks of life, in all stages of motherhood, sharing with the rest of us a little hope and motivation to keep on pushing through what can at times be the most difficult journey any of us have ever known. Each provides a different perspective and voice that carries the same positive message:

Even on your worst day, you can do this.

It bears repeating. I wish I could force myself to remember those few words in every low moment where I feel I’m not good enough or not cut out for the massive job I signed up for in mothering. I wish I could remember them when I feel tears in my eyes at the end of a day that felt everlasting, when I didn’t accomplish all the things I woke up in hopes of crossing off my list, when I didn’t get dinner on the table or didn’t get around to washing my husband’s socks.

I wish we could all remember how much we give of ourselves everyday, and remember forgiveness when what we have to give didn’t stretch all the way across the board.

The moments when remembering how good at this I really am, how good at this you really are, are beautiful. They are also too often fleeting, dissipating at the first, second, or third small setback that derails your idea of what a good mother does, what a good wife does, or – even worse, in my opinion – how you’re supposed to feel while doing all that you are required to do.

I’m able to see this clearly today only because I drank way more espresso than I ought to have yesterday and managed to get all the things done while still having an abundance of time to spend with my son, had dinner waiting for my husband when he arrived home, and even had the leftover gumption to make cupcakes.

That is not usual. Not usual at all.

I end most days smelling like I haven’t had a shower (because I haven’t), covered in either baby food, spit up, or milk (usually some combination of all three), exhausted, and wondering if I did enough.

But I also end every day with a child I did my best for, a husband I love, and a chance to do all of those things I didn’t quite get around to tomorrow.

And so do you. 

 

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